I don't know what to say.....I am honestly rendered speechless. At first I wasn't going to blog about this. In my mind, I knew that there was nothing that I could do about the situation. I was already in the process of accepting it and moving on. It pisses me off, saddens me, astonishes me, all in one big emotion. I don't know how to describe it, I just wanted to accept it and let it go.
Then I saw that he sent a tape, a letter, and motive to do what he did.
HOW SICK IS THIS WORLD BECOMING???????
I literally couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that this guy planned this. He was "so sick"....no. Your not "sick" when you plan to kill innocent people based on class and because they are happy. Your mentally unstable, yes, sick no. It makes me upset, I guess, because they(media) are trying, in some way, to make the situation better by claiming that this guy was sick. I don't know how I feel about that. It angers me to the core. Makes my stomach churn...but I know that something was wrong with this guy. Something wasn't right with him.
I try to push it to the back of my mind....I do. No point in searching for justice, he killed himself. Can't hold anyone else accountable, he sent a tape and letter. It was him. But I can't, it's staring me right in the face. Everyday, every minute, every hour. I find it unbearable at some points. So many lives, not an astounding number, but enough to go down in history books. Young, lives that were just getting started, like mine. On the verge of becoming so many great things....halted by one senseless act. I just don't know how to deal with it it.....
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
american funniest home videos 2
I don't have too much to say...I wanted to let you guys know that 1) The power of prayer is amazing!! 2) If you believe in something...go after it!! I am so happy that Shaquanda is free!! Now lets pray she keeps herself together!! Now, i'm in the process of moving...so i'm BUSY!!! I leave you with this....I hope you laugh as hard as I did!! Be easy ya'll!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS TO ME....
OUTRAGEOUS!!!!FRUSTRATING!!!IGNORANCE AT ITS PEAK!!!
How come we are just now finding out about this.....this young woman has been in jail for one year!!!!!
I will be attending the protest on Tuesday morning.....and we've called Al Sharpton and the NAACP...if you feel strongly as I do, please call.
How come we are just now finding out about this.....this young woman has been in jail for one year!!!!!
I will be attending the protest on Tuesday morning.....and we've called Al Sharpton and the NAACP...if you feel strongly as I do, please call.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
MEAN GIRLS
For about as long as I can remember, I have been viewed upon my black peers as "trying to be white". Never understood how you could act a color...but they believed that bc my best friends are white, and I was involved in a plethora of activities, that I wanted to be like them, like white people. I never wanted to be white, I still don't, but the other day, I was put back into that world for a split second...I didn't know how to take it. I hadn't felt like that in a long time...like I said it never bothered me. I know that its the way that we, as people, carry ourselves, that distinguish who we are in the eyes of others. On the outside looking in people can only make snap judgements. They see you and label you..BOOM!! Black girl trying to be white, white girl who thinks shes black, prep, white trash, ghetto, jock....blah blah blah!! They don't know you as a person, but if you were to take a look at me and the life that I have led so far, you will see that I am not trying to be white, I just don't want to be a walking statistic. I want more for myself, I always have. My mother instilled that in me, and since the day that I grasped that concept I ran with it. I was secretary of my student council, I was on drill team, I was a peer mediator, I was voted on homecoming princess all 4 years of high school, nominated for queen my senior year. I was very active in my church, which was predominantly white, I hung out with more white people than black people, so black girls smiled in my face, and talked behind my back. I was in an interracial relationship for 5 years....all things point to me "trying to act white". But that was me!! How are u going to tell me that I am wrong for being me. It sucks, bc my character was and is on the line with my peers to this day.
The black portion of my friends (whom I don't hang out with too much bc they all have children, and are EXTREMELY messy) say that I am doing my thing, but then they talk amongst each other when I am not there, about how I think I am better than everyone. I tried plenty of times to get ALL of my friends on one page, but my BEST FRIEND, my heart, my girl, is white, and a majority of my time is with her and my 3 other best friends. We've been friends for 12 years....that's a long time!! My black friends...they don't like the mixed clubs, they only like to go to all black clubs, or when its "black people night"...what is that anyway?? Black people's night....we are not in a segregated time period anymore!!!! I invite them to just hang or my friend invites them to come to her house, and they always decline!! Never once do they invite them anywhere. For my birthday one year, my black friends threw me a surprise get together, they didn't call my white friends. I just don't get it......it really never bothered me until the other day when I found out my grandpa died. He always told me to keep doing what I was doing....I was fine. When he died, it wasn't shocking to me until a couple of days afterward. My friend was having her baby shower that Sunday, but I really wasn't up to going. So I called to let her know.....left a message with the girl who was putting it together. They never ONCE called me to give condolences. Never returned my call, never asked if I was okay, they were actually calling themselves mad at me because I didn't show, and I was supposed to bring the ice. For the past year while this girls husband cheated and beat her, I was there....I SAW with my own two eyes him out on a date*the fool had the nerve to say hello to me*, when she needed to vent I was there....when she was confused about who here babies daddy may be I was there....I have been and still will be there for her in her time of need, but she shrugged me off so bad. It took me back to high school...the black girls never really liked me. I don't know...it just hurts, bc no matter how much I just try to be me...someone is always judging, and that's not what hurts me...its the ignorance that does. BC it's going to be like that for my kids, and there kids bc no matter what....in my opinion our culture and generation is not doing anything to make it any different. We perpetuate the stereotypes that people are placing on us, and we accept it. I refuse...and I know I am not the only one. How do y'all feel about that....were you that person or do you have a story like mine?? Was your doing better for yourself misconstrued for you being stuck up or "trying to be white"?? Y'all be easy.....
P.S.~Ya'll finally get to see full pix of ya girl!!
The black portion of my friends (whom I don't hang out with too much bc they all have children, and are EXTREMELY messy) say that I am doing my thing, but then they talk amongst each other when I am not there, about how I think I am better than everyone. I tried plenty of times to get ALL of my friends on one page, but my BEST FRIEND, my heart, my girl, is white, and a majority of my time is with her and my 3 other best friends. We've been friends for 12 years....that's a long time!! My black friends...they don't like the mixed clubs, they only like to go to all black clubs, or when its "black people night"...what is that anyway?? Black people's night....we are not in a segregated time period anymore!!!! I invite them to just hang or my friend invites them to come to her house, and they always decline!! Never once do they invite them anywhere. For my birthday one year, my black friends threw me a surprise get together, they didn't call my white friends. I just don't get it......it really never bothered me until the other day when I found out my grandpa died. He always told me to keep doing what I was doing....I was fine. When he died, it wasn't shocking to me until a couple of days afterward. My friend was having her baby shower that Sunday, but I really wasn't up to going. So I called to let her know.....left a message with the girl who was putting it together. They never ONCE called me to give condolences. Never returned my call, never asked if I was okay, they were actually calling themselves mad at me because I didn't show, and I was supposed to bring the ice. For the past year while this girls husband cheated and beat her, I was there....I SAW with my own two eyes him out on a date*the fool had the nerve to say hello to me*, when she needed to vent I was there....when she was confused about who here babies daddy may be I was there....I have been and still will be there for her in her time of need, but she shrugged me off so bad. It took me back to high school...the black girls never really liked me. I don't know...it just hurts, bc no matter how much I just try to be me...someone is always judging, and that's not what hurts me...its the ignorance that does. BC it's going to be like that for my kids, and there kids bc no matter what....in my opinion our culture and generation is not doing anything to make it any different. We perpetuate the stereotypes that people are placing on us, and we accept it. I refuse...and I know I am not the only one. How do y'all feel about that....were you that person or do you have a story like mine?? Was your doing better for yourself misconstrued for you being stuck up or "trying to be white"?? Y'all be easy.....
P.S.~Ya'll finally get to see full pix of ya girl!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
IN NEED OF PRAYER.....
Had to let you know why I haven't posted a real post...
My grandfather, my "Fat"(called him that since I was little), passed away this weekend, and although me and him weren't extremely close, I remember when I used to walk in the room and say hi to him when I was little. He was the grandfather who didn't say much, but his hugs did. He was the grandpa who didn't have to say it, but you knew he was proud. I knew he was proud when he looked at me. Proud of me for not letting where I came from stop me from being the best that I can be. Proud bc I continued to better myself, proud that I wasn't like the rest, living under his roof with kids, and on welfare. Proud that I respected him in a different way, and I made sure that he was alright, instead of trying to take. "Oh, I'm doing okay...you?" Always!!
But he isn't suffering anymore, he isn't in pain anymore. And though he never said it, my mind is at peace with the look in his eye that told me he was proud of me. RIP "Fat".....see you when I get there!!! I love you!!
My grandfather, my "Fat"(called him that since I was little), passed away this weekend, and although me and him weren't extremely close, I remember when I used to walk in the room and say hi to him when I was little. He was the grandfather who didn't say much, but his hugs did. He was the grandpa who didn't have to say it, but you knew he was proud. I knew he was proud when he looked at me. Proud of me for not letting where I came from stop me from being the best that I can be. Proud bc I continued to better myself, proud that I wasn't like the rest, living under his roof with kids, and on welfare. Proud that I respected him in a different way, and I made sure that he was alright, instead of trying to take. "Oh, I'm doing okay...you?" Always!!
But he isn't suffering anymore, he isn't in pain anymore. And though he never said it, my mind is at peace with the look in his eye that told me he was proud of me. RIP "Fat".....see you when I get there!!! I love you!!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
