SINCE I'VE BEEN AWAY...

I miss you...I really do. This is just one of the things that I need to get off my chest...(has lots of cursing, sorry in advance.)****this is from my myspace blog...

FLIES AND SHIT.....**updated** Current mood: pissed off Category: bout to mess some shit up Romance and Relationships
I don't know how I am supposed to feel about this situation. One part of me wants to act out, mess some shit up, mess your life up. Another part of me just says f**k it. Your not worth it and you never have been. What gives you the audacity to say the things that you have said to me?!?! I was nothing but good in your life, and to this day you still can't say anything bad about me. "Thanks for nothing at all....."... I'm SOOOO confused. You STILL don't realize everything that I did for you, do you? I brought my standards down to a level that they shouldn've ever been brought down to. I turned a blind eye to things bc I thought that you were going to try to be better. You claim you tried, but there was never any real evidence of that happening, only what you "say" was going on. I only have your word to go on, and as of last week, I don't know if that is valid anymore. I just don't understand how someone could be so incompetant to things that are right under their noses. Not only do you not understand other people's point of views, you refuse to admit fault in any situation, whether it be minor or major, you always have a defense ready to prove your side is right. I knew that shit was shady, I just gave you the benefit of the doubt and that shit didn't do me any good. I WASTED gas, time, sanity, respect and all kinds of other things for you. I went into my purse to make to make sure your ass was ok. I didn't have to do that, but I did. Because I am THAT TYPE OF GIRL... I should be the one telling you Thanks for nothing....not the other way. Bc LORD knows that I tried with your ass. AND the sad part is, you can't deny that, no matter how much you try. I was the best thing that ever happened to you. I KNOW THAT IS FACT......no disrespect to any of the other women that you were with, but I know that i am the classiest, jazziest, most competant, faithful, intellegent, beautiful, caring person that you will ever have the pleasure of dating. You had a real shot, but you messed that up with your content for life at this moment. You messed that up with your failed attempts to understand. You messed that up when you lied about trying to talk to my friend. SO....yeah, your DAMN right I am moving on, and I make no apologies about that. After this I am done...and I ususally end relationships on a friendly basis. See how you got me, out of character......and I'm not doing that shit no more. I refuse....deal with it. Move on....and I'm out this bitch.
ps~ and by the way, you still owe me for that time I paid your phone bill.

he sent me this:
FLIES AND SHIT ...TRUTH AND LIES. IS YOU ROLLIN? YEAH, YOU MIGHT BE. IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE THAT YOU ARE A LIL TESTY ABOUT THE WAY ALL THIS WENT DOWN. I CAN'T BLAME YOU. KUDOS TO YOU FOR BEING ALL THAT YOU WERE AND ARE ...YOU ARE WOMAN, A FINE PIECE OF WORK.YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE TRUTH IF GOD HIMSELF CAME DOWN AND TOLD IT TO YOU. I AM, WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THE REALIST NIGGA YOU HAVE EVER COME IN CONTACT WITH. YOU WANNA AIR SHIT OUT AND TOOT YOUR HORN ...GO HEAD. I CAN'T KNOCK YOU ONE BIT. I'VE ONLY BEEN SINCERE, HONEST, AND LOVING TO YOU SO. IF YOU GET PLEASURE OUT OF KNOCKING A NIGGA FOR TRYING WHEN ALL YOU SAY YOU HAVE IS HIS WORD ...ALL I'VE HAD WAS MY WORD. AS FOR THE WHOLE PHONE THING: YOU'RE WELCOME. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, YOU'RE TOOTING MY HORN AS WELL. I BROUGHT YOU OUT OF CHACTER, HAD YOU DOING THING YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T. I AM STILL ...[THEBESTNEVAHAD]. DON'T TRY TO PLAY ME ALL UP ON MYSPACE, I'VE HAD NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR YOU AND STILL DO AND WILL.THE TRUEST SHIT I EVER WROTE: I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK IF YOU LIKE,TO THE VERGE OF BLISS AND THE MEDIAN OF FOREVER AND ALWAYS.I'LL TAKE EVERY MOMENT SPENT WITH YOU AND PRESERVE IT IN A JAR,OPENING IT ONLY FOR A SNIFF WHEN YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR.I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK IF YOU LIKE,LIKE A STORY NEVER ENDING, A NEWLY FOUND SALVATION IN LIFE.THE VERGE OF BLISS AND THE MEDIAN OF FOREVER AND ALWAYS, NEVER OUT OF REACH.SEEK AND DESTROY HURT AND PAIN WITH A HEART FELT SECURITY BREECH.I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK IF YOU'LL JUST HAVE ME BE...YOUR NOW... YOUR FOREVER... YOUR US... YOUR WE.

i responded to him:
IN RESPONSE TO THE MOST RIDICULOUS PIECE OF MESS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE:
You want me to vent....here you go. YOU ARE A JOKE!!!!!I have held this shit in for as long as I can, at this point I really don't give a shit if this hurts your feelings or not. Obviously no one has had the nerve enough to let you know what a fuck up you are. Yes I may have been swept up in your "word". And yes, I must have been blindsided by loneliness, but all that shit is out the window at this point. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT if you love me still, you can take yourself to the moon and back, and you can spend all your tommorrows alone for all I care. You don't realize what you are! You don't Avery, and I dont' feel sorry for you anymore, i'm to the point to where i'm just disgusted by your lifestyle. You live your life with this fucked up attitude of "sitting and waiting." What grown man does that?? What example are you setting as a so called man to ALL of your childeren? Your the statistic that they base african american males on...and everyone knows those are some shitty ass statistics. Why would you be proud of that? What glamour is in that? You HATE it when people downplay your masculinity, but why? Its fact...and what I wrote was fact. And everything that every person who read my blog says...is fact. The reason why you feel the need to question why we arent' together is beyond me. I get it though--->" KUDOS TO YOU FOR BEING ALL THAT YOU WERE AND ARE ...YOU ARE WOMAN, A FINE PIECE OF WORK." You damn right....the best that you'll ever get. You chalk this up to the incident that happened last week. Tell me something, why don't you get the fact that that is just the tip of the iceberg. You keep lying to me about that situation....you can say you didn't mean this or that, but I KNOW what went down. AND that doesn't even matter..your right you took me out of character...and you made me do shit that I wouldn't normally do..BUT KNOW THIS.I had you and your not the "BEST I EVER HAD"....not even close. You know how men tell women all the things they want to hear...well checkmate Avery. When I told you the things that I told you about us, it was under pre-tenses that have come to no avail. You have nothing...NOTHING. You say you love me right?? Then why would you feel the need to toot your own horn about making me do things that I would never do?? Bringing me out of character?? What "best and better than most" man you know does that? Don't worry, i'll wait..........didn't think so. Like you said, you have nothing on me bro. You know what a good woman I am. You know that I reached into the depths of my heart for you, all for this shit to play out the way that it did. I take full responsibility for the shit. I should've know not to get involved with you. I thought that I was a stronger woman....and I am because most females...and when I say that I am speaking of true queens of my caliber; people who have an education, have things going for themselves, have their shit together; wouldn't have given your ass a 2nd glance. BUT I DID. And you want to sit up here and try to play me....like I'm fucking willy foo foo or somebody. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE. " -------YOU THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER JUDGE OF PEOPLE. THAT'S YA GIRL, YOU SPOSE TO TAKE HER SIDE. WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS THAT NONE OF US REALLY KNEW ONE ANOTHER AND WAS MISLEAD. LOWERED STANDARDS ...lol MY ASS""
this doesn't even make since....so i'm not going to even dignify it with an answer. We have been broken up for quite sometime now..so what I do with me, myself, and I is not really of any intrest to you now is it. I could be ugly and tell you that HE is the best I ever had....but that would be below that belt now wouldn't it.
What I posted was something that was meant for you to see...it wasn't done in spite, it wasn't done to "put you on blast" either. Again, everything that I said is FACT. It was done so that you could FINALLY get what I have been trying to tell you for a really long time now. But again, you FAIL to understand that. You continue to try and justify your situation and that is the MAIN reason why you don't need to contact me anymore. Friends we'll never be, lovers is out the window, and this way you can concentrate on what it is that you do...
"The unemployment rate for young African American men is over twice the rate for young white, Hispanic and Asian men (Fig. 3). In addition, fewer African American men between the ages of 16 and 29 are in the labor force compared to white, Hispanic and Asian men in the same age group. Over 20% of young African American men live in poverty compared to 18% of Hispanic..."
Oh and best believe that everyone will see what you have to say...